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In
my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients
have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a
better relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have
related to me about having a better relationship. These
misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from
your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to
teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have
become the backbone for your way of living and having a better
relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better
relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This
is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However,
when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this
destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds
of conflict in your need for a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality or chart eristic
that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to
flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a
better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by
allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the
quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to
enjoy a better relationship.
Myth 3
I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a
better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is
like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and
your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better
relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining Armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone
to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and
is no longer able to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring
your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will
be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will
be the knight in shining Armour of a better relationship.
You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better
relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if
you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat.
Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should
not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship
that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and
holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing
an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the
outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money
or materialism, love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I
love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action).
Love is the action of doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make
a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea
or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action
that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you
learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to
learn how to put those letters together to make words and
sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to
use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape
recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a
better relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your
partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better
relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is
like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just
equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and
the material assets (although there are important) but the simple
things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better
relationship.
About The Author:
Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo
charge your health, business and wealth. To receive your free 7
day Relaxation course. visit this site now www.emptyyourcup.com
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